Member Blog Posts

I feared the world. I sought the world. I wanted the acceptance of the world.

But then God moved, and my heart changed.  

God calls us to a kind of generosity that puts the needs of others before our own, not one that is determined by what leftovers we have. His calling is for us to consider the needs of others as we go about our reaping, not passing along our meager remains after gorging ourselves. It seems that this practice has been lost in today’s society. People who experience God’s compassion and love each and every day should want to show this same love and compassion to others, right? So, what is the problem? The issue seems to be a matter of the heart and our desires. Our selfishness can get in the way of reaching out to those in need because we are too inwardly focused. There needs to be a shift where people begin to look outside of themselves and notice their neighbors and what they can do to serve them. 

I work in a middle school. The life of a middle schooler is extremely different than when we were kids. As educators, we are tasked not only with teaching, but also working through the social and emotional ups and downs that our students experience. Often times I find myself wondering if I am the best person to do that. Yet, everyday when I enter the school, I find situations that are new, strange, joyful, sad, overwhelming, and hilarious, and am given what I need to get the job done.

A few months back my dad gave me some extra tomato plants of his own to plant at my new house. Being a bit of a hippie – I was stoked to have my own veggies to grow from sprouts to produce. Brittany and I spent an afternoon planting them and, because I am a wannabe Christian mystic as well, we prayed over them. We prayed that they would grow and that we could enjoy their bounty and share them with my neighbors as a way to connect.

I am certainly not alone in living with regret. We sometimes find ourselves in the middle of destruction and lament over years we can not have back. Our plans crumble before us and we are left with the bitter emptiness of uncertainty and wasted time. We have poured so much of ourselves into what we thought God was doing only to be back once again at square one. Time continues to pass by as we long for so many things, for a future that seems just out of reach.